“Helpful inner monologue isn’t always positive in the sense that sometimes, in working through the bad stuff, we learn from our mistakes,” Kross said. But it doesn’t mean you’ll always be cheering yourself on and overlooking mistakes. The goal is to change that negative self-talk to reinforce the idea that you are good, worthy and capable, Fouts said. Those thoughts often come from a place of thinking you are not worthy of the compliment, she said. Instead of gratefully accepting, you brush it off as that person being nice or thinking that you could have done better. That feeling could come up when someone gives you a compliment. “That’s usually, ‘I’m not good enough, not worthy enough.’ ”
“When I work with people, we discover the root,” Fouts said. She finds that some of the unhelpful “tapes” that play over and over in clients’ heads are rooted in a deeper belief about themselves. Like most aspects of psychology, the root of how people talk to themselves comes in part from genetics and in part from individual experiences, Kross said.Įven the most loving caregivers can pass on negative self-talk to children, Fouts said. Maintaining a healthy inner voice can help with your growth and mental health, experts say.
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